Continuing education

Yesterday at work, I got called into an impromptu meeting with my manager. Despite never having done anything to warrant termination, my immediate reaction was: I’m being fired. I was anxious and felt jittery. I started to sweat when, upon stepping into the office, my superior said, “You can close the door behind you.” The real reason behind the meeting? To let me know that I would be moving offices.

This is my general reaction any time a work superior asks to speak to me. Maybe it’s a function of today’s economic climate, or good old-fashioned Catholic guilt, but if I’m being honest, it’s more likely because I have yet to train myself how to handle this type of situation in an adult manner.

I think I need to attend some sort of Being an Adult education class, one that would include lessons on how not to break into a cold sweat just because your boss calls you into her office and how to be a good patient. It has taken me longer than I’d like to admit to learn that the person who asks smart and thoughtful questions at the doctor's office and the person undergoing the examination can, and should, be the same person. When my doctor ends our appointment with, ‘Do you have any questions?’ it still takes me a minute to remember that I’m supposed to respond to that question -- with actual questions. It’s like I’m waiting for my mom to show up, tell me to sit up straight, and pull a list of questions from her purse, even though I haven’t gone to a doctor’s appointment with her in nearly ten years.

You can take a classes on flower arranging or starting a freelance business. What I need is a class about being a real adult, about handling situations with aplomb, so that I can control my reaction when my boyfriend starts a conversation with, “I need to tell you...,”--cue my face falling--only to end with, “... that you have food in your hair,” which, though embarrassing, needn’t strike fear into my heart.