Say hello to your friends: AM Babysitters' Club

I like to refer to myself as 'an ideas person,' as opposed to a 'details person' or possibly, 'a responsible, accountable person' or maybe more specifically, 'a person that can be counted on to show up on time or to complete a task within a given deadline without waiting until the last minute.' In my mind, an 'ideas person' can't be constrained by deadlines, accepted social norms, or realistic expectations of functioning adults.

While in my own head, all of my ideas are excellent, in reality they generally range from preposterous to moderately executionable. A few examples include: suggesting suggestion boxes at Wawa; starting my own company called Procrastination Inc.; and rebranding Thursday as Friday-lite (a particular favorite).

However, I've recently been mulling over an idea that I think is one of my best yet: an AM Babysitting Agency. Hear me out.

Every family needs a good babysitter. It's typically a nice teenage girl who will come over on Friday nights and watch your children so that mom and dad can go out on the town. She'll order them a pizza, watch a Pixar film, and put them to bed before proceeding to eat any and all junk food at your house that she doesn't have at her own house. When the parents get home, they'll pay her and send her on her merry way. She's a good babysitter, a good PM babysitter.

However, if you've really had a good time on your night out, then just a PM babysitter might not be enough.

Of course, we all know that the measure of a good time is how hungover you are the next morning. Not so hungover? Not such a great time. Five-man jackhammer crew onsite in your brain at five AM? Awesome time. But, by the time the jackhammer crew shows up, the babysitter is gone and you're left to face your kids alone. Unless, a babysitter has just arrived. What if, in addition to the PM babysitter, who went off duty at midnight, you had an AM babysitter, who came on duty at 6:30, just as your kids were waking up and contemplating crawling in bed with you, effectively jostling you from the only position in the world that doesn't make you want to barf your brains out?

The obvious question: Why not just have the previous night's babysitter stay over? The answer is threefold: One, it's not cost effective to pay the babysitter to sleep at your house when she's not really delivering any goods or services during the hours she's asleep; two, it's likely that you know the parents of the high schooler that babysits for you and you don't need her going home at 11AM the next morning telling her parents how Mr. and Mrs. Smith looked like hell and were sweating booze in the morning; three, if the AM babysitter arrives at your house in the morning, she can pickup two large coffees and a few bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches on the way.

So, I'm currently debating starting up a side-business that deploys AM babysitters: qualified, discreet, and there with a warm smile and a greasy breakfast sandwich to help you through your hangover.