Potty Talk

Having recently started a new job, I’m deep in the throes of navigating a new work environment and asking myself all the questions any new employee asks herself: Will I be successful? How can I impress my boss? Will people like me? How much can I be on gchat while still appearing to be a good worker?

Another curious, yet oddly frequent work-related question reared its head recently, one I’ve been wondering about for a while now, long before I started this new job:

When/how is it appropriate to talk to co-workers in the bathroom?

Some of you might be thinking, “Ah ha! Trick question. It is never appropriate to talk to a co-worker while using the bathroom,” and I tend to agree with you.

I generally take the approach that bathroom exchanges should include mild pleasantries only, either in passing or at the sinks. If you are a good friend, I might talk to you while peeing. However, if there is a third party in the bathroom, I will suspend conversation. If you are my superior, I will not speak unless spoken to, and even then, I will try to cut the conversation short. It is very uncomfortable to talk about project deadlines while someone is staccato peeing next to you.

On my first day at my new job, someone mistook me for a friend and started asking me real work questions while we were side-by-side in the stalls. From the toilet, I had to say, “I think you’ve mistaken me for a different set of feet; I’m new, I just started working here today,” while I tried to refrain from doing something completely appropriate yet horribly mortifying while using the bathroom, like fart.

As if I needed more stress on my first day at a new job.