Introducing absorbent fit blue jeans.

I have often wondered, “What do babies think about all the time? Colors? The discovery of their own hands? Eating?”

Now I know one less thought burning a hole in a baby's brain: “I wish I could poop in something that looks like jeans, instead of pooping into something that is obviously a diaper.” Huggies has introduced Diaper Jeans.

I commend Huggies for bringing jeans to one of the last jean-starved populations in the US. After all, Chihuahuas have been wearing little jeans for years. But I don’t think we should limit babies to these high-waisted Mom diaper jeans. The media is merciless toward those who wear bad jeans. Jessica Simpson and President Obama are both still working to recover their fashion reputations in the wake of particularly bad pairs of jeans. Your baby isn’t the leader of the free world, let alone an MTV reality star, can you imagine the backlash he or she might suffer?

Let’s really have some fun with these jean diapers. Lowering the apparent waistband of the jean diapers and coloring the remaining band of material a flesh tone would enable jean variations to make your baby funnier and more stylish.

Diaper makers could offer:
Plumber Butt Diaper Jeans, where the jeans appear to droop on the baby’s butt, exposing a little bit of drawn on butt crack;
Hip Hop Diaper Jeans, where the jeans sag to the middle of the baby’s butt, exposing the baby’s also imaginary boxers;
Low-Rise Diaper Jeans, where the flesh tone band extends even further down for a more seductive look.

Low-Rise Diaper Jeans would open the door for Tramp Stamp Diaper Jeans, where it would appear that your baby had a lower back tattoo peaking out from above the waistband, something beautiful and meaningful like a butterfly or a sun. Or Exposed Thong Diaper Jeans, where it would appear that your baby’s thong was rising above the waistband of her jeans, or his jeans, depending on how progressive your baby is. Pair this with a little baby crop-top and a mini Ed Hardy Trucker hat, and your baby is ready for MTV’s Jersey Shore.