I got 99 Prom-blems

I saw a bit of an article online today about elaborate prom invitations, called Prom-posals. I first noticed this trend back on MTV’s hit TV series Laguna Beach and now it seems to be sweeping the nation. One young man got down on one knee to ask his prom date out in front of an audience of 250 after their final performance in the high school play. And scene!

Real talk: I asked my junior prom date out at his locker after our pre-Calc class. His response, “I guess.” And that was that. We spoke about our joint attendance of the prom probably twice; one time prompted by his mom, who was wondering what flowers she should buy; the second time, about how we would get there. I don’t think either of us had a driver’s license at that point. The flowers looked great in the pictures, which is more than I can say for my prom date, who looked like a deer in headlights in every single picture from the event. But that was probably good for me because it gave me the appearance of being the ‘cooler’ member of the pair, which, if you knew me in high school (and continue to know me today), is a pretty miraculous feat.

Maybe a guy that asks you to prom on a banner pulled by an airplane is more romantic than a guy who responds to you asking him to prom the same way he might respond to someone asking him if he wanted extra cheese on his pizza or if he liked t-shirts. But it doesn’t take an elaborate prom-posal, or an expensive dress, or a stretch Hummer to make a high school dance fun. I have great memories from my junior prom, chief among them the sense of pride I have in my 16-year-old self for asking out the cutest guy in her pre-Calc class. Admittedly, this is not saying much given the pre-Calc taking, 16-year-old boy pool at the time, but still.

I fear that these elaborate invitations are only setting young women up for disappointment in real life. No one is going to hire a plane to ask you on a date. Sure, you’ll read the invitation, but it will be via text and probably involve a lot of stupid abbreviations, spelling mistakes (both intentional and unintentional), and abominable grammar. In my experience, a guy that picks both a specific time and a specific place to go out with you is a standout.

So ladies, if you’re theater-loving prom date plans an elaborate prom-posal, enjoy it while you can. I think my man Robert Frost put it best:

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.