It may surprise you to learn that I am a subscriber to Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle newsletter GOOP.
Of course, I take great pleasure in knowing the best $425 cleanse to do after I’ve over-indulged during the holidays, the best places to grab lunch when I’m taking a quick trip to Paris, or the best cashmere children’s item to buy for an expectant friend. I didn’t realize these types of tidbits were so vital until Gwyneth introduced them into my life. But tips like these are not why I subscribe to GOOP, they’re merely a bonus.
You want to know the real reason I get GOOP?
When Gwyneth was first launching GOOP, I was rolling off a year-long service program and found myself jobless and living back with my parents. I spent my mornings and most afternoons in sweatpants. I made myself wake up at a decent hour but that was only to catch the Dawson’s Creek double header that used to run weekday mornings on TBS. I spent my day’s cooking elaborate breakfasts, searching for jobs online, watching music videos on YouTube, and giving myself incredibly detailed pep talks (Don’t get down on yourself! You’re great! I don’t know anyone who can make a spinach, black bean, and garlic saute like you can! Chin up!)
I was on a precipitous ledge, inching ever closer to a dark dark abyss that not even two hours of Pacey Witter and a serious breakfast sandwich could rescue me from. One day in my internet searching, I stumbled upon GOOP. I looked at it and thought to myself, “Maybe this could be cool. Maybe Gwyneth could teach me something. Maybe this could help me.”
And then I immediately thought, “I just thought that a mass email newsletter from Gwyneth Paltrow about la vita bella is what I need to improve the quality of my life?! I’m not on the ledge anymore; I’ve stumbled over it. I need to get it together NOW.” And so I cut back on my Dawson’s creek, dedicated myself to my job search, and eventually found gainful employment in New York City.
Way back then, I also subscribed to GOOP, which might seem curious. Why would I sign up for something that I had such a visceral reaction to? Precisely because of that visceral reaction. Now every time I see that GOOP email in my inbox, telling me how to make organic chicken nuggets or best white T-shirt to buy at Barney’s, I am reminded of the dark place I was in when I thought Gwyneth’s musings might make my life better.
Some people think that GOOP is pretentious shit. While I can’t say I disagree completely, I appreciate it for a reason entirely independent of the newsletter itself. When I see GOOP in my inbox, I’m reminded of when I was ‘up GOOP creek,’ or ‘knee deep in a pile of GOOP’ or ‘felt like my life was going down the GOOPer,’ so to speak, and I’m thankful for how far I’ve come.
Of course, I take great pleasure in knowing the best $425 cleanse to do after I’ve over-indulged during the holidays, the best places to grab lunch when I’m taking a quick trip to Paris, or the best cashmere children’s item to buy for an expectant friend. I didn’t realize these types of tidbits were so vital until Gwyneth introduced them into my life. But tips like these are not why I subscribe to GOOP, they’re merely a bonus.
You want to know the real reason I get GOOP?
When Gwyneth was first launching GOOP, I was rolling off a year-long service program and found myself jobless and living back with my parents. I spent my mornings and most afternoons in sweatpants. I made myself wake up at a decent hour but that was only to catch the Dawson’s Creek double header that used to run weekday mornings on TBS. I spent my day’s cooking elaborate breakfasts, searching for jobs online, watching music videos on YouTube, and giving myself incredibly detailed pep talks (Don’t get down on yourself! You’re great! I don’t know anyone who can make a spinach, black bean, and garlic saute like you can! Chin up!)
I was on a precipitous ledge, inching ever closer to a dark dark abyss that not even two hours of Pacey Witter and a serious breakfast sandwich could rescue me from. One day in my internet searching, I stumbled upon GOOP. I looked at it and thought to myself, “Maybe this could be cool. Maybe Gwyneth could teach me something. Maybe this could help me.”
And then I immediately thought, “I just thought that a mass email newsletter from Gwyneth Paltrow about la vita bella is what I need to improve the quality of my life?! I’m not on the ledge anymore; I’ve stumbled over it. I need to get it together NOW.” And so I cut back on my Dawson’s creek, dedicated myself to my job search, and eventually found gainful employment in New York City.
Way back then, I also subscribed to GOOP, which might seem curious. Why would I sign up for something that I had such a visceral reaction to? Precisely because of that visceral reaction. Now every time I see that GOOP email in my inbox, telling me how to make organic chicken nuggets or best white T-shirt to buy at Barney’s, I am reminded of the dark place I was in when I thought Gwyneth’s musings might make my life better.
Some people think that GOOP is pretentious shit. While I can’t say I disagree completely, I appreciate it for a reason entirely independent of the newsletter itself. When I see GOOP in my inbox, I’m reminded of when I was ‘up GOOP creek,’ or ‘knee deep in a pile of GOOP’ or ‘felt like my life was going down the GOOPer,’ so to speak, and I’m thankful for how far I’ve come.
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